Living With Kids Is Like Living In A “Jersey Shore” House because:
- You are woken up by someone puking on the floor, your bed, their bed, or a combination of all three
- You wake up with your boobs exposed
- There is pee on the toilet seat, floor and/or wall
- There is a mystery stain on your couch, its probably milk of some kind
- There is a mystery stain on your bed sheets, its probably chocolate
- There is a mystery stain on your carpet, its probably puke, paint or it is a mystery
- You got a black eye in your backyard
- You look in the mirror to see you have smeared make-up on your cheek…its only strawberries
- Your home has several half full, possibly old, plastic cups, laying around
- Someone always looses a part of their clothing in the pool
- When you call your family they often ask you if your at a bar…no dad it’s 10 am, I am home
- You haven’t showered in days but you still manage to get smushed
- You argue with “someone”(toddler) that says random things while you are trying to make a point
- You talk with your hands
- There is a weird smell in your car, almost puke like…it turns out to be an old, oozy milk sippy cup
- You get easily sidetracked by something shiny…..on the floor, it’s the puke mentioned in #6
- You pull an all-nighter
- You hang out by the pool….which really is a small patch of grass next to a baby pool
- You feel hungover…refer to #17, #1 and #2
- You smell like men’s cologne….it’s a ploy….refer to #12
- You get asked why are your boobs so big/small….and an explanation is actually expected
- You have no privacy
- You avoid talking to your parents
- Sometimes there are people sleeping in random places in your home…the floor in the foyer, the laundry room….
- You also get asked about your “area”….it’s been awhile since waxing or maintenance has been in the realm of “agenda”….my 3 year old saying “Who is that!?” (referring to the untamed)
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